Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
