had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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