I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All the doctor said was why
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
