No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize