we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
