I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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