Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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