1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
