Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
