I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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