i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would fuck him just for his dog
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
