So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
