I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
