my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
