i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
