Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
