You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
