I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize