He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
