just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
