so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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