TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
