I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had to cum in my sink.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
