You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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