There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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