New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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