It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
