And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
