there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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