You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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