But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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