After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
