Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
