I'm lost and stupid without you.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
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Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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