went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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