You're my little dorito
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
