Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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