Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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