where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
After last night, I could never be a politician.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
