I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
