The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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