3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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