In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
