If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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