went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
