hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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