Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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