So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
