and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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