first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize