just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize