dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
