I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
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at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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