His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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