i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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