Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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