5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
