dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And then my night got REAL pukey
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
