Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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