dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
