why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need to calm my uterus...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
