Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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