mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
