so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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