The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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