i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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