you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
