I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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