right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
